Bagatelle in A minor
by DarkmoonSigel
Summary: Hannigram crack with Franklin. Need I say more? No Beta M/M Crack warning


AN-

More crack. Info from wiki- I don't own it.-"Für Elise" (meaning For Elise) is the popular title of the "Bagatelle in A minor". Ludwig van Beethoven wrote it in 1810. It is music for the piano. "Für Elise" is one of the most popular pieces of piano music in the world. watch?v=47TGXJoVhQ8 is Für Elise being played on a glass harp. Odd but lovely. Musical crack. oOo

Franklin arrived at Hannibal's office at his usual time to find his physiatrist in an odd frame of mind. Stoic was how most would describe the good doctor but today he seemed, for lack of a better word, distracted.

"Good afternoon, Doctor Lecter." Franklin said as he knocked on Lecter's door, entering the room uninvited. Usually the doctor would open the door himself precisely when a scheduled appointment began and greet his patient. Today though, the door hung open with Doctor Lecter standing at the center of his cavernous office looking a bit shell-shocked.

"Franklin, what are you doing here? I rescheduled our appointment." Lecter said in way of greeting which was shocking considering Franklin knew what a stickler the doctor was for politeness. Whatever was bothering his good doctor was definitely cause for concern. Or at least it was in Franklin's mind.

"I know, but I was already in the neighborhood so I figured I'd just pop in. Say 'hi', see how you're doing." Franklin grinned hopefully, the expression not returned. Doctor Lecter wore a flat look that bordered somewhere between unnerving and contemptuous.

"Why?" Lecter asked that was more in the tone of 'Get out' than an actual inquiry. Franklin decided to take it for what was asked and not what it was meant to be.

"I know you said we couldn't be friends but we can be friendly. Nothing unethical about that. Not breaking an patient/doctor rules there." Franklin said quickly. He got the strangest feeling as he watched the doctor's strange sanguine eyes begin to narrow. In other beings, that would have been referred to as inborn survival instinct, one that was going monkey shit show crazy while trying to retreat and hide. In Franklin though, it was just dull itch in the back of his head.

"It wouldn't be the first time he's done that." said a man entering the room. If Franklin hadn't noticed anything amiss before, he definitely did now as the room's temperature plummeted, Lecter's attention solely focused the newcomer. Franklin recognized him as another patient of the doctor's.

"Hello, Will." Lecter said so coldly, it was a small wonder his words made of malice and frost didn't shatter onto the floor at his feet.

"Ah, I see you're with a patient. You'll have to excuse the good doctor. I'm sure he isn't feeling up to taking any appointments today.", the man named Will continued, choosing to ignore the doctor to address him. Franklin didn't like his stupid pretty boy face that looked so smug. He especially didn't like the way Will was smirking at his doctor.

Apparently Lecter didn't care for it much either. If looks could kill, Will would have been an ash outline from the intensity of the glare the doctor was shooting his way. "How did you sleep last night, Will?"

"Like shit, but thanks for asking." Will answered bluntly, making Franklin gasp and cringe a little. One simply did not use cuss words in Doctor Lecter's presence. It was nearly as profane as cursing in church.

"What did you do with your time?" Lecter picked the words from his tongue and teeth in a manner that stated that he already knew well and good where Will had been last night.

"You know, the usual. A little of this, a little of that. Took a drive. Kept myself busy." Will grinned, a show of teeth. It reminded Franklin of a dog that had bit him once.

"Do anything in particular you care to explain in detail?" The doctor was barely keeping it civil, baring his own teeth back. Franklin half expected the men to come to blows the way they were circling one another.

"You know how insomnia is. Everything is all so disorganized…." Will said, giving Lecter a pointed look"… shifted around."

"What's going on?" Franklin asked tentatively.

"The good doctor's OCD is beginning to show." Will started to laugh, looking far too pleased with himself about something.

"I do not have obsessive compulsive disorders." Lecter snapped.

"And denial is not just river in Egypt." Will rolled his eyes.

"William…." if there were ever more compelling words of fight or flight uttered.

"Oh, my full name. That means I'm really in for it now. If that's true, Doctor Lecter…." Will said slowly, putting special emphasis on the other man's title. "…..why do you look so bothered?"

"What's wrong Doctor Lecter?" Franklin asked, concerned.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lecter snapped, fuming in place. Franklin was here often enough that he considered his psychiatrist's office a second home. Taking a look around, he had to admit he didn't see anything out of place, the space around them as immaculate as ever.

"No." Franklin admitted. It was enough to send the doctor over the edge.

"Are you blind!? Everything has been moved!" Lecter yelled. Franklin did another long slow take of the room. The only thing that looked out of place was a very smug looking Will and a very frazzled looking Lecter.

"What's been moved?" Franklin ventured carefully.

"Everything! Everything been moved. All the furniture, paintings, books, everything has been moved a half an inch to the left!" Lecter was yelling himself hoarse, his accent getting thicker the angrier he got.

"Maybe if a certain someone stopped feeding me p…pork, they wouldn't get their furniture moved around." Will grumbled petulantly enough to earn him an odd look from Franklin and an outraged one from Lecter.

By fate, accident, or pure dumb luck(it really depended on who you asked in the room), Franklin ended up in the middle of the conflict, his flailing arms keeping the two men apart from one another. "Ok, everyone calm down. Let's take a deep breathe. Good air in, bad air out. In and out, in and out, in…no, ok. Let's take a moment to calmly assess the situation." To Franklin's credit, he had been in therapy for the better part of a decade. In that time, he had picked up on a fair amount of the lingo and calming exercises. He was trying to apply all this knowledge now, with limited success. "Will, why did you feel the need to move all the furniture in Doctor's Lecter's office?"

"He knows why." Will seethed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ok, inside voices here. No need for aggression." Franklin admonished before turning back to his psychiatrist who was glaring at his desk again. "Doctor Lecter why did you feed Will…. Pork?"

That did not sound right to him for some reason.

"You don't appreciate my cooking." Lecter sighed, looking tired and stressed out as his broad shoulders slumped. He walked over to his desk to give it a controlled shove.

"You know that's not true! I love your cooking. Everyone loves your cooking! That's part of the problem! You can't keep feeding us the other white meat!" Will groused. Franklin watched as the man did the same thing to the other pieces of furniture in the room though, Will taking out furniture floor sliders from his pocket for the heavier pieces.

"Are you Jewish?" Franklin asked confused. Was Will Jewish or his doctor for that matter? Franklin tried to remember if Lecter was ever very closed for Passover.

"I am trying to motivate you into realizing your full potential." Lecter grumbled, still working on relocating everything to it proper place on his desk.

"I know who I am, damn it! Why can't you respect that?" Will paused in re-hanging a painting to shoot Hannibal a filthy look.

"Is this a religious thing?" Franklin asked, because those were some deep water he wasn't sure he could help them out with.

"You don't think that I respect you?" Lecter asked, sounding a bit stunned in doing so.

"Actions speak louder than words. The soufflé you made last night more than says you don't." Will grumbled, shifting the stag statue over just a notch along with its stand.

"That was quiche you, you heathen." Lecter corrected lightly. "You know that's not true. I value your opinion greatly, in all areas of our life together."

"Is he trying to make you convert?" Franklin asked, to be regarded by the other two like they had forgotten that he was there.

"Yes." Will sighed in what sounded like defeat.

"No." Lecter stated firmly. The two men went back to glaring at each other.

"Ok…..well, you both need to remember that the basis of any healthy relationship is about give and take. It's got to have some sort of balance to work." Franklin reiterated some couples therapy he had been to once by mistake.

"Quit trying to feed me pork and slipping it into other food. Don't think I haven't figured out your trick with the beer and the wine. Oh and dessert! That was just low, really low. Even for you." Will said reproachfully. The doctor had the grace to look a touch guilty, though it was more about being caught than anything else. "It's a lot to spring on a guy. Just give me some time adjust."

"Is pork really that much of a surprise?" Franklin asked the room to be ignored, watching in dismay as the two men crossed the room to meet in the middle.

"I can do that for you, Will. You know how much I love to cook for you." Lecter said softly, taking off Will's glasses so that he could look into his eye unobstructed. Will let him. Franklin tried not to vomit in his mouth, his jealousy making him nauseous.

"And you know how much I love your cooking. Even if I don't always agree with what goes into the dish." Will murmured, reaching up to play with the doctor's tie. Franklin wanted to break his stupid fingers.

"What I can only ask for is your understanding." Lecter said, touching their foreheads together.

"You will always have that." Will murmured, breathlessly. Franklin rolled his eyes.

"My beloved….." Lecter mouthed into Will's lips, licking their vowels into a soft mouth while ignoring the pained sounds Franklin was making.

"Well I'm just going to…..go…yeah…." Franklin muttered, retreating as he slammed the door shut behind him

oOo

"If you ever move my furniture again, I will cut off your genitals and feed them to you."

"Tease."


End file.
